Web 2.0 Suicide Machine — Just Do It!

Suicide is no laughing matter, but social networking is slowly killing us. Good thing you can now give in to the temptation to “disappear” from the world of status updates and mindless tweets by unplugging your online self (or selves) with the Web 2.0 Suicide Machine!

For those of you out there who are tired of your social network, the nifty Sucide Machine online application lets you “delete all your energy sucking social networking profiles, kill your fake virtual friends, and completely do away with your Web 2.0 alter-ego.”

The process to defriend, detweet, and linkout is so deceptively simple that Facebook is demanding “you cease this activity immediately,” citing a violation of users’ privacy. Of course, this is nonsense since the more than 1,000 people who have committed “social suicide” release this information under their own volition!

Here’s how it works: Once you hand over your log-in details and click “commit,” the program will delete each bit of info one by one — Twitter tweets, MySpace contacts, Facebook friends, LinkedIn connections — so you don’t have to do it yourself manually.

But before you meet your real neighbors again, it’s important to bear in mind that there’s no UNDO button. Once you’ve committed social suicide, you are signed out forever and the only way to get back into the “matrix” is to start over all again.

RIP 2.0: the Web 2.0 Suicide Machine will host a cybermemorial in your honor, but don’t be surprised if some of your “friends” are tempted to sign out forever too — and join you in the real world in 52 minutes instead of 9 hours 35 minutes!

This article does not necessarily endorse social suicide, but if we highly encourage you to share it with anyone you know who’s in dire need of online intervention.

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