Apple introduces giant iPhone for elderly

Do you have trouble reading that tiny screen, or trouble mashing the teeny keys with your stubby-chubby fingers?

If you like your giant TV remote, you’ll love the new iPad!

No more searching around the house for a tiny apparatus, no more squinting at your coworkers’ baby pictures, and no more passing the phone around at meetings — now you can let the whole world see over your shoulder that you’re sexting a woman that’s not your wife.

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