Bethenny Getting Scary? – Take 9

photo credit: reality chopped

In the season finale of Bethenny Getting Married?, the entire season is summed up when Bethenny remarks in the final moments “We’ve become those people.”

Bravo usually likes to end these shows with a bang… and by bang they usually mean a big party is thrown. But Bethenny Getting Married?, which quickly seemed to become the almost anti-Real Housewives show, ended quite differently. It ended softly, as reflective of Bethenny’s new life. It ended with our heroine surrounded by her home family and work family alike, quietly having a meal in a restaurant as the baby begins to cry. Our favorite acid-tongued Cassandra had indeed morphed into one of “those people.”

The episode kicks off with a visit from former co-star Ramona Singer, who seems to easily adapt to the low key atmosphere of the spin-off show and checks all of the Housewives’ drama at the door. We’ve never seen Ramona at a loss for words before, so it’s quite cute when the normally outspoken wife and mother is tongue-tied and blushing at the mention of s-e-x. The Singers do run a religious jewelry business, and most of Ramona’s bluster is usually about how sexy she finds her Mario, not confessionals of lurid details. Her ditziness comes off more as cute on this show than the other.

It is after all a Bravo finale, so there is indeed a splashy party in the form of a baby shower although it is not the big show stopping closer Bravo typically uses. For all her interest in whole foods, it would have been nice to see more of a focus on local farm-to-table type party foods rather than the flown-cross-country-using-jet-fuel “caketastrophy” we were shown. JMHO. When Bethenny wonders aloud if other people threw baby showers after the baby is born, we’re left to wonder too. I wonder what Emily Post says about this?

I have known several women — modest drinkers all — who became absolutely obsessed with that one drink a day allowance when breastfeeding. It’s like a ‘you don’t know what you have until it’s taken away’ kind of thing. I think Bethenny will probably get brownie points with the Mommy crowd for it, and it is refreshing to see a TV portrayal of new motherhood that’s not all rainbows and unicorns. It’s instead, a woman desperately slurping the last drop of her rationed cocktail.

Likewise, Bethenny’s separation anxiety during before a routine business trip is touching, as well as a clear illustration that her life has changed and it’s not all effortless. Apparently, cartwheels aren’t free for everyone.

So the newly minted family heads out to the Hamptons for their first ever road trip, and despite the ratio being 5 adults to 1 baby, Bethenny apparently didn’t do a very good job of packing. She forgot her crib and her “breast friend”. She’ll learn. What’s nice about the parents is that they criticize themselves before the haterz even get the chance, so the blow is softened a bit. Nothing is worse than when reality stars come off as cocky or full of themselves. Bethenny may be the undisputed queen of snark, but she always turns the satire on herself, and that is probably the secret to her phenomenal success.

In a previous episode, we saw Bethenny ecstatic over having finished her semi-autobiographical book A Place of Yes just before walking down the aisle. But now that she’s married and a mother, it all seems like yesterday’s news before it even sees its first printing press. Wisely smelling an Edsel on her hands, Bethenny burns the gallows, perhaps ceremonially sending her past life up in smoke. She not only burns it, but uses it as starter to light the fire that cooks her family’s meal. Her future is built upon her past.

So, will BGM? be a train ride, or a train wreck? Methinks the answer lies within 5 basic questions. Let’s see how the ninth hour of the journey went.

1. Will she end up Kate Gosselin? Well, the baby is in People again this week, but only time will tell the tale.
2. Will she end up Edith Bunker? Quite honestly, I found all of the “poor Jason has to go 6 weeks with no sex” talk ridiculous and annoying, even if they are newlyweds. Six weeks is nothing, a blink of the eye in the scheme of things. Revisit this same couple in 15 years, and six sexless weeks will go by without them even noticing.
3. Will she end up Rachel Zoe? I would have to say that all of the Max fluff is the only part of the show that smacks of dishonesty. In all these scenes, it’s almost as if Bethenny is promoting Max for Bravo like a dishwashing liquid she doesn’t use herself, but is paid to hawk. I hope he does get his own spin-off, so I can just not watch!
4. Will she end up Omarosa? I think her willingness to start over on A Place of Yes comes not just from marketing savvy, but from sincerity. The public isn’t stupid, and it’s folly to believe they are . *cough* Jill Zarin’s *cough*
5. Will she end up Rhoda? She’s not only juggling family and career, but doing it under a public microscope. If she opts for a second child, something will probably have to give, and I hope for her sake it’s BGM?. She’s smart, and I think a talk show is the right route to go.

So, now that it’s out there for the TV God’s ears, we’ll just have to watch and wait.

Past Bethenny Getting Scary? posts for your enjoyment:

• Bethenny Getting Scary?
• Bethenny Getting Scary? – Take 2
• Bethenny Getting Scary? – Take 3
• Bethenny Getting Scary? – Take 4
• Bethenny Getting Scary? – Take 5
• Bethenny Getting Scary? – Take 6
• Bethenny Getting Scary? – Take 7
• Bethenny Getting Scary? – Take 8

More RHoNY posts for your enjoyment:

• The Real Desperate Housewives of New York City
• Everything I Need to Know, I Learned from ‘The Real Housewives of New York City’

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