Could it be true? Do touch sluts have more fun?

According to a bunch of brainy geeks in a lab somewhere, we’re all much happier if we get felt up.

Touching is apparently everyone’s first language, and does wonders to communicate feelings in either direction. So stop being the boy in the plastic bubble and get out there and start slapping.

A goofy high-5 or a corny smack on the butt won’t just make you a walking cliche, it will make you a healthier cliche.

When I started my business last year, I was advised by my legal expert to buy business insurance. Unfortunately, liability was the last thing on my mind due to high start-up costs. But now that business is thriving, my mind is focused on more and more on minimizing risk, especially when it comes to what I can take on and what I can pass on to the insurance company.

During my business insurance research, I discovered that mitigating risk is not limited to protecting just your property and office equipment.

It’s easy nowadays to take business insurance for granted, but bear in mind that paying for insurance is the norm in our personal lives. Think about it: Most of us don’t hesitate paying for insurance that covers our health, home, and automobiles.

So before “stuff happens” to your new business, here’s food for thought: paying for business insurance is less costly  than the amount of money you spend on power lunch with your clients on a monthly basis!

Self-made Semi-Homemade cooking show Queen Sandra Lee should do a show on her reinterpretation of the third world classic.

The dirt is store bought, but I’m sure an added seasoning packet and some vanilla “eggstract” would brighten the terra treat right up.

And who can wait to see her unveil her earthquake themed “tablescape”. I know I can’t!

Not only are most guys crap at dressing themselves, but few can even buy a condom that fits properly.

Ill-fitting prophylactics are said to be a leading cause of pregnancy, STD and displeasure.

Dude, how hard could it be? Then again, seeing what most of you wear, apparently men must have some kind of gene that prevents them from telling what fits and what is clearly the wrong size.

Maybe drug stores should offer rubber dressing rooms, so would-be birth controllers can try on various sizes in front of those 3 way mirrors, to guarantee the most flattering fit.

The Obamas are skinny, but are they mean?

In a twisted plan of evil genius, heathcare reformers are suggesting we pay for the new plan, made necessary by the growing obesity epidemic in the US, by getting the money from one prime source of the problem.

Tax soda pop.

Based on anti-smoking campaigns, the proposed tax is a drastic measure targeted at getting the attention of a stubborn nation. As one expert put it:

“Obesity is a major health problem that’s getting worse, and it’s clear that exhorting individuals to eat less and exercise more is not going to turn things around.”

Apparently, the words “complete lack of self-discipline” should be added to our nation’s anthem.